I grew up in Weymouth, MA with one kid sister, Holly McNeil. I spent my childhood looking out for her, loving her, forever frustrated that I couldn't communicate with her as a peer. She has Down syndrome. Today, very healthy and active, she is 40 years old and I am her legal guardian.
Holly age 7, Christmas, 1973
Holly age 40, myself 45, Christmas, 2006
My daughter Karlene, 20, took this photo of me and Holly last Christmas. Holly, just shy of 4'11", told her niece Karlene, 5'9", "When I grow up I'm gonna be tall like you Karlene!"
Just recalling the conversation still makes me weepy.
On our mother's deathbed so many, many years ago, I promised my mother that I would look after Holly. As I have found, some promises are hard to keep - and some ghosts never lie down.
With four children in a five room house there hasn't been any room for Holly to stay with me, other than an occasional slumber on my couch. She lives with a wonderful caregiver, Phyllis. She attends an adult day program. She has her own friends, she has a warm, caring disposition. She likes to write long letters and sends them in the mail. She loves music, she loves to sing and dance.
Living in the present.
A couple of months ago I found myself working on two British mass market book projects and a trade book for Mitten Press, The Feeding Tree. I received an email from publisher X asking to see my portfolio. I assembled it and drove off to the post office. While I was in the parking lot I received a phone call from editor Jean Cochran at Pleasant Street Press. She had found me on childrensillustrators.com and was very impressed with my work. She told me about her press, was surprised at the coincidence that she was in Raynham, MA and I was only a stone's throw away in Brockton - but she had found me on a British website. We found it more coincidental that we both had graduated from Weymouth North High - a school that no longer exists. I graduated a few years before she attended, I eventually got married and moved here to Brockton.
We were having a nice conversation until she said, "Let me tell you about the book! It's the story of two sisters told from the older one's perspective, the younger one has Down syndrome...."
I went completely silent, barely speaking, "You couldn't have known... you couldn't have known this about me..."
Mother's Day
On Mother's Day my son Ryan came home to help me clean the yard and mow my lawn. I told him about the book. He pointed out the dates, Jean and Holly had attended Weymouth North High School together. He said this book was written for me to illustrate.
My conversations with Barbara went along the same lines, that I was meant to illustrate this book.
A couple weeks went by, reliving my childhood. I knew an emotional journey for me was just beginning. Reading the manuscript choked me up. The floodgates of emotions and memories overwhelmed me.
I knew I had to illustrate the book; I was certain that I could bring to it the sparkle of my own shared experiences. My heart was filled with love for the two girls. I knew I had to meet with them. This past Wednesday I did. Jean and I met at author Nancy Tupper Ling's house and Jean drove us to Southern Connecticut. There we met with the girls, their younger sister, and their mom Cheri.
Alicia and Rachel
Donna highly recommended that I write a journal, capturing the details and progress I make as I take on this assignment.
To that end, I want to thank Michael Palmer for suggesting the wonderful book Born Early and his editor, Jennifer Enderlin, for describing in detail for me the heart surgery her son underwent. One scene in the book has Rachel holding Alicia after her heart surgery - but their mom Cheri didn't take a photo of this as it was too painful. With the generous help from others, I hope to lovingly illustrate this moment in Alicia's young life.
The Journey Begins
Beautifully written by Writer's Digest Grand Prize award winning author Nancy Tupper Ling.
MY SISTER, ALICIA MAY
8 x 10, 32 pgs - hard cover
Nancy Tupper Ling
Illustrated by Shennen Bersani
Summary
Based on the lives of two real sisters, My Sister, Alicia May touches on the joys and challenges of growing up with a sibling who has Down syndrome. Exquisitely written with humor and compassion by Nancy Tupper Ling, this book expresses beautifully that both sisters are, indeed, very special girls. Ages 5 & up.
Available Fall 2008.
My personal thanks already (and will often) go out to Jean, Nancy, and Cheri.
I look so forward to seeing you progress through this book; it's a real turning point for you, I think. I also can't wait to get a copy for my little cousin with Down Synrome (who also has a big sister)! What a great project!
Posted by: Liz | June 24, 2007 at 03:34 PM
Hi Shennen, I think fate put you and this book together for the best of reasons. I know your heart will be in every page.
Thank you for letting us share your journey with this sensitive and emotional project. You will 'do it proud' for the girls.
June
Posted by: June | June 24, 2007 at 05:11 PM
What a powerful story!
I can't wait to see this book in progress.
Thanks so much for sharing.
I have three children, my middle son has severe cerebral palsy.
Although it's a different disability, I know it will be a book my children will relate to.
Posted by: roz | June 24, 2007 at 09:46 PM
Just reading this blog post makes me weepy. I can relate to so much of the pain and feeling of being cut off. It's also such a burden to be the one that's looked up to... as if somehow you've got the answer to all the unanswered questions.
It does sound like this book was fate working in some just way to connect you to make the pictures.
I'm sure they'll be wonderful...
jn
Posted by: john nez | June 24, 2007 at 09:46 PM
I thank all of you for your comments. I hope to give support and encouragement to other siblings in similar situations - and through my sister to let parents know that their Down syndrome children can grow up to live full, productive lives. I know that is a concern for most parents, what will become of my child as (s)he grows older?
Liz and June, you both have inspired me to blog and to share more of myself. Thank you both.
I will periodically update my progress, at some point Cheri and I would like to have Holly meet Alicia.
Roz, my heart is with your children as a sibling and all the emotions that entails, and my heart is with you as a mother - and all the joys and sorrows that come with parenthood. The brightest light is always your child's smile.
And John, we've spoken before of our similarities, knowing there are others in the same situation makes it somehow easier.
Yeah, it's weepy - but working through my personal emotions will bring forth my finest pieces of art. You have to live the Blues to play it properly.
Posted by: Shennen | June 25, 2007 at 12:16 PM
I am but a small part of this story, and even for me, to see it in writing, is so moving! Shennen, I am so excited to watch you bring this wonderful book to life! And I am truly honored to be working with you on a project that will certainly touch many, many lives - as it has already touched ours.
Jean
Pleasant St. Press
Posted by: Jean Cochran | June 25, 2007 at 06:27 PM
Our whole family is so excited about Nancy Ling's book about our Alicia and Rachel. Thank you Nancy and Shennen for giving our family the joy it so richly deserves by telling this beautiful story of our children!
Love to you all - Aunt Dottie
Posted by: Aunt Dottie | June 27, 2007 at 03:48 PM
I just heard about this wondeful book from Cheri and I just had to comment! I am one of Alicia's teachers and her story and her family's story (Rachel's perspective especially) will touch many lives. They are sisters of the heart...thank you for your work- I cannot wait to read it.
Alica is "my teacher"
K.Hennessey
Posted by: K. Hennessey | July 08, 2007 at 07:52 PM